Scourgings and meditations

Apotheosis didn't like pattern scourging. It felt like a desacration of the body. It was, however, the only way he currently had of regaining mana. He refused to deal actual damage to himself, instead weakening his strength, so it took four days to get to reach full capacity.
While weakened, Theo decided to try Starling's suggestion of meditation. He figured Starling would evade any questions if Theo hadn't at least made some attempts before had. Going to the library he had scanned through some books on the subject and decided to get some fo the recommended items. He got some Enya and church hymn cds, and a yoga mat. After getting home from the museum and eating he would try meditating for about an hour each day.
Ater each session, Theo did feel more centered, resolved, and secure in purpose but he didn't feel anything that he would consider a spiritual epiphany. Or maybe he had and just didn't know what he was looking for. He was getting frustrated by the fourth day and couldn't concentrate effectively. It was probably time to talk to Starling for further information.