Bella and Nic - Penance

Nicolo paces like a caged animal within the walls of his haven, waiting for Bella to arrive. It was suppose to to be about "them" tonight, and now the focus would be on him. He had to ask something of Bella he really, really didn't want to ask. He wished there was someone else he could go to. Anyone else...

"Buona sera, Bellisima." He couldn't help himself. He saw her and it made him smile. Please come in. He closed the door behind her and led her to the pristine couch, where not one pillow was out of place. In fact not one item in the room was out of place, the design a stark minimalism, reflecting his psyche. He wouldn't offer her blood wine or any such thing – he only drank from the vessel God intended blood to come from, and only when he hunted it down, except on the rare occasion it was required for a ceremony.

"Bella, we should talk about happened the other night. I said some things that I probably shouldn't have. I have no right to call into question your devotion or your way of worshiping God or Longinus. That was sinful on my part. I've prayed about it, actually, and I think I understand better now. We come from two different backgrounds and we just approach it differently. There is room in the Church for everyone, and everyone's unique view is special and necessary. I was very wrong, and I am quite sorry. I hope you'll forgive me."

Fuck! A simple apology and she reads him like an open book? His hackles begin to raise as he formulates his normal biting retort...

No. That would be foolish, wouldn't it?

"Bella!" Too harsh, calm down. "Bella... I was simply apologizing to you. I'm not nervous about anything. I thought you wanted to talk about us tonight and I thought perhaps beginning with where I might have gone wrong the other night would be a good place to start." He looks into her eyes, and knows he can't keep her at bay for long. She actually does make a pretty good Inquisitor.

"Fine. Bella. Something did happen. Sort of. I had asked if I could speak to you a while back and we got so wrapped up with all the plant business, it just never happened. And now my Sire has reminded me I have not fulfilled my obligation that he assigned me, so I must do that now. I need to," Was he really going to do this? Really going to sit here and submit himself to a woman for penitence? He could feel his muscles tightening and the room getting smaller. He stood and began pacing again.

"I must admit, this is a little harder than I thought it would be. No, that's not true actually, I knew this would be very hard. I need to ask you if you would act as my confessor, Bella. I have some things I must confess and submit myself to penance for."

Well, there, he'd said it. No taking it back now.

Holy shit. This was really going to happen. Be a man Nicolo.

"OK, well..." He had stopped pacing, and stopped himself from staring at her. Now he moved slowly over and sunk to his knees before her, genuflected, then folded his hands together.

"Bless me, Father," Wait. Mother? Sister? Oh, why was this happening to him. "Bless me, for I have sinned. It has been 6 months since my last confession." A long time, but he had been traveling a lot, and he was a priest. He often found his own penitence for his transgressions. "I have committed numerous sins in that time. Losing my patience with fellow Damned. Not always taking advantage of our vampiric purpose here on earth and not scaring kine while I feed as much as I could. I have been actually paying a kine to let me feed from her when I should have been simply hunting her and taking what is rightfully mine in the Lord's eyes." At this, Nicolo lowers his eyes so he will not have to meet Bella's curious looks. '''And, finally, I made disparaging comments about several high ranking members in our Covenant that were completely unfounded. Comments that could have seriously damaged their reputations I suppose. "For all these things, I am truly repentant."

Nicolo sighed heavily and opened his eyes. "That's about it. Do you want to discuss these now? Or would you like me to recite my Act of Contrition?"

He knew this was coming. He knew it was an unforgivable indulgence. And the worst part was, he wasn't sure he was truly ready to give it up yet. Not just yet. He would probably lie and tell her he was truly contrite and be done with it. The trick was to figure out how few details he needed to disclose before they could move on. Funny, how the Cardinal seemed to feel she'd be so concerned about the careless words he'd said about her...

"Well, it certainly is a sin for which I'm truly sorry – a crime against the very gifts God bestowed upon us. I guess I just had certain desires, and designed a way to meet them."

Nicolo's eyes narrow at the perceived threat. And he sees a possible way around disclosing anything. "Bella, I do not need my penance to be tolerable. I committed a sin for which I am repentant and must now serve a penance to demonstrate that. That is why I am on knees before you."

She was bluffing, of course. She admitted she had no sorcery. What could she possibly do to him that wouldn't kill him? He had been through a lot, had been beaten by the best in Rome. He really didn't fear a little girl in Sacramento. Except the humiliation of being beaten by a little girl in Sacramento...

He closed his eyes and murmured his prayer to God.

O my God, I am heartily sorry
for having offended you,
and I detest all my sins
because of your just punishment,
but most of all because they offend you, my God,
Who are all good and deserving of my love.
I firmly resolve, with the help of your grace,
to sin no more and to avoid the near occasions of sin.

He took the list without a glance and kept his face completely emotionless. So what could she possibly do? Build a whip? A kine whip? It made him angry and more convinced his Sire was wrong about her. She belonged in his arms where he could keep her safe, not out trying to play Inquisitor, where she was unprepared without any of the tools she should have. He resigned himself. He would teach her all he knew -- every ritual, every sorcery. He would not have her ill equipped to handle her position. Not with so many new Damned in the City who he was sure were ready to challenge her position. What kind of Sire did she have that had not seen to her education in these matters?

"I will be back as quickly as I can. Please make yourself comfortable while I'm gone." He smiled a little and left without another word.

When Nicolo returns with the items, he is in a completely different state. He's had an entire trip back from the store to deduct the probable intention of the items on the list and he's no longer so cocky. He puts them quietly on the table and does his best to keep his voice even. Keep his true apprehension from her.

"This should be everything. What would you have me do?" His muscles tense and he finds himself fighting the monster inside him who is trying to convince him to just walk out the door and leave. Simple survival instinct.

She really thought she was going to order him around like a common servant? Not in this unlife. Nicolo easily let his dread and fear slip into anger as he narrowed his eyes, and curled the side of his lip to show his sharp teeth at the small, beautiful woman sitting so nonchalantly on his couch.

"You would perform this archaic, kine torture upon me? You will get up make the preparations yourself."

"Benissimo! Non dò una maledizione, cacasentenze!"* Furious, Nicolo grabbed the pot, clanking it purposefully hard on the table, and the salt and stalked to the kitchen as he had been asked. He muttered in Italian the entire time, but carried out the tasks she gave him and brought her back the boiling water and the powdered salt.

"Là. speranza siete felice."**



*Fine! I don't give a damn, smart ass.

**There. Hope you're happy.

Nicolo laughs nervously. "All the way? Bella, there were other ways to get me undressed that would have been more pleasant than this."

Nicolo lowered his eyes, seeing there just wasn't any altering the path they were on. He removed his shoes, shirt, pants and underwear, and stepped into the shower, facing her. His eyes cold and impassive.

Nicolo barely even realizes she is gone, he's sunk down on all four like an animal, desperately trying not to lose consciousness, but wanting desperately to lose consciousness and escape his badly damaged body. On the shower floor he can vaguely see chunks of his skin mixes with bramble and salt that have sluffed off his frame and the raging pain mixes with nausea. This is it, I'm going to black out.

But the blessed release won't come. As if the Dark Messiah is watching over him, keeping him awake to endure every bit of his penance and learn from it. He groans, trying to stand, but the room is spinning too badly still. So he stays. And he endures. And he thinks on the kine woman he has repeatedly met and fed from and coupled with to the point of nearly killing her, only to satisfy his longing to be close to Bella.

Bella should have just sent him to torpor and put him out of his miserable existence.

He twisted and turned, trying to allieviate the screaming pain, but not ready to begin to heal it. How could it ever work between them? Two Kindred so incredibly different. Would they ever come to a point where they could agree on anything? And what must she think of him now, seeing him like this? So weak...

Enough. Enough of this. Nicolo let some blood reach his scalded, abraded skin and healed it a fraction; enough so he could stand without the room spinning and leave the confines of the bathroom. And then he sees Bella at the sink running her hands under the water and realizes what has happened. With a heavy heart he walks up and stands behind her, his hands on her shoulders, kisses the top of her head and whispers. "I'm so sorry Bella. I'm sorry you had to do that. I'm sorry you hurt your hands."

Watching her curiously, he's surprised she's found a spot back on the couch, and not found her clothes. He figured she'd be in a hurry to leave. He shrugged a little until he realized it caused him a great deal of pain, then padded bare foot out to the living room. Nicolo found an open spot on the sectional couch, and gingerly lowered himself face-down so he could lay somewhat comfortably and talk to her.

"I'm not ready to heal yet. I'll wait until tomorrow night so I can think about what I've done and make sure I don't repeat it. Because Bella," He looked intensely into her eyes, his still burning brightly with the shock of severe pain, "I don't ever want to repeat what I've done. It was a huge mistake. A foolish, selfish mistake. A mistake a Priest of Longinus should never make."

He props a pillow under his head in an attempt to get more comfortable. "Bella? I think I care a great deal for you." It just sort of came out. What an odd thing for a near stranger to say to another near stranger who were sitting together naked on a living room couch.

"I wanted to be near you." He said simply. "She looked like you and it was the closest I could get to you." He stared at the ground, not believing he'd really just admitted that to her.

"I don't think you understand. I have been in... caring deeply for you for quite some time. And all we seem to do is argue. How could I approach you when it seems we are at constant odds with each other." He could feel a thorn being ripped through his blistered flesh and sucked in a breath. "Scopilo, maledizione del dio esso!" *

He closed his eyes and centered himself. "Easy there, Inquisitora." He smiled a little thinking of the letter the Cardinal had sent regarding Bella's reputation and lineage. "You know, my Sire was right. You do seem to be cut from some fairly fine cloth, Bella Orchid."


* Fuck me, God Damn it!

He gritted his teeth. "Figlio - di - a - femmina!.* Inquisitora, are you sure this is completely necessary?" He laughed a little more now. The pain was unbelievable, but he loved having Bella so close, with nothing between them.

"So, perhaps what we might do is spend some time getting to know each other better. Outside the Church. That way our different backgrounds won't be quite so foreign to either of us anymore. And then we can see where things lead from there?" He prayed he didn't sound too hopeful. Because he desperately wanted things to work out between them. There was already a spot carved out in his chest, where his heart belonged, for this creature named Bella.


* Son of a bitch!

At first he can't understand why he must get down on the ground. Then he decides he doesn't really care to argue with her, but before he can answer his entire body seizes up. He thinks of the brand he has permanently burned into his chest. She will ask. He will not talk about it. Not tonight. She will be upset with him and they will have lost all the ground they have fought so hard to gain.

"No, ummm, no. Bella -- it's getting late. Did you want to spend the night here? If not, you should probably be on your way home if you want to beat the sun. I can take care of whatever is in front." He looked at her cooly, his eyes revealing nothing. An Inquisitor's trick.

He raises himself up on his elbows, long fingers clawing at his head in a futile attempt to keep the demons at bay. But all the pain and anger and fury and grief and humiliation and disgrace and shame come flooding back to him in an instant wave of anguish.

"There is a blanket in the linen closet, down the hall."

Carefully, he eases himself down to the floor and moans softly as his skin, or lack of it, makes contact with the blanket. There will be no comfortable position, so he closes his eyes and tries to take himself away from his immortal being.

And he waits for the inevitable.

"I will heal when we wake tomorrow. Not before." He could feel the sun coming, perhaps sooner than he usually could due to his missing flesh, he wasn't sure. "Please go to my bedroom, it's getting early and you can't sleep out here, it hasn't been secured." And as an afterthought he added, "You will take my bed, I will sleep on the floor." Nicolo rose painfully, the blanket already sticking to his back where the flesh was missing.

"Bella, you will sleep in the bed, and you will not argue with me. Not tonight, and not in my own home." He reached for his temples with his long fingers, rubbing away the oncoming headache. And then he rethought his stance and softened his tone.

"You are a guest here and I will not have you lying on the floor." He wanted to add that she was a woman and he would not allow a woman to sleep on the floor while he slept in the bed, but decided against taking the possible risk of inflaming her sense of equality. "I can't bear to argue with you, please... Not tonight."

Shaking his head, he couldn't help but smile at her impossible tenacity. "I give up Bella." He let the events of the night bring unconsciousness to his body. But before he let go to the day, he whispered to her, "I found us a cathedral Bella. A beautiful church where we can take our covenant to worship God and Longinus in a house worthy of their love and inspiration. I'll show you tomorrow..."

And with that he was gone.

((END SCENE))