Culture clash

So I have a story to share. First, some background. I'm Asian, and married a Jewish Russian gal.

We do a lot of holidays with her parents, who throw flamboyant dinner parties and love to entertain. Several years ago, there as a large Passover party, and the wine glasses and vodka shots were... prolific.

One of the traditional foods on the table is matza crackers, which taste a lot like a stale saltine. To me, at least. So, picture this huge table with about twenty people, all drinking, having a great time. I'm ridin' dirty, lit like Gabriel Marcus.

So my wife passes me the plate of matza bread, to pass to someone else -- which I don't realize. I take the plate, and in my super-loud-drunk voice, exclaim:

"I'm tired of all these Jew crackers!"

This story is 100% true, and that Passover is still brought up every year.

* For all of you sheltered people, 'cracker' is slang for a Caucasian.

Hmm... XD

man.. passover.. always one in the party. I've celebrated with my best friend to learn his culture and stuff.. always interesting to try out another belief. But.. you know.. that's always going to a story that will follow you.

Laugh XDDDD

I have faux pas like this all the time, I was raised utterly without religion and so have many blunders *headdesk*

Oh Man! I could totally see her face when you said that. FREAKIN HILARIOUS.

What can I say, that is just hilarious. Thanks for that.

Open mouth, insert foot.
Judging by the fact that you're here, years later, to tell us this story, I imagine they took it pretty well. Lucky you. I'm mortified of making a snafu in front of the in-laws out of fear that I will be banished from the land.

On the subject of holiday culture clashes, here's a comic about Christmas which immediately came to mind when West told his story. (Panel two, in particular.)

LOL Talk about an awkward moment...

Boy, that made me laugh. I have to agree on the taste though. They aren't really bursting with flavor are they?

First of all, hilarious. It's really cool of them that it's just a family joke, and you haven't been exiled!

Also, I will add this Sedar tale:

My roommates and I hosted a Seder in college once, and naturally it got loud...

And we got Rent-a-Cops called on us, who by the way were actually packing heat. Needless to say, intimidating. We tried to explain to them, guys this is religious and cultural celebration. Didn't give a shit.

They kicked out all of our guests, and the landlord tried to levy a fine. F'd up.

Nice fumble on the socialise roll here. At least it shows the family has a sense of humour.
I got a similar story in the foot in mouth disease category:

When I was barely 4-5, my uncle got married and I was of course of the guests. It was a catholic ceremony and well, those who have been at these things can imagine how bored a 4-5 year old can get.
Then came the time of the 1 minute of silence. My voice immediatly went up:
"And that is over with."
Cue laughs around the room, the priest looking annoyed, and my parents desperatly trying to pretend they weren't laughing at it too.

Haha oh man, that's hilarious.

I've been in many similar situations. One that comes to mind is something that always makes me giggle.

You see, my dad is racist. He's black, and racist against black people. I really don't understand how this works, but hey, what do I know.

So before the story starts I'll say that after my dad divorced my mom, he started to date caucasians exclusively.

When I was 16, I started an online relationship with a boy who I adored. However, he just so happened to be white. And I mean white. Like albino white.

My dad was not at all happy about this. Even though at the time he was going out with a very nice woman who was also white.

So my dad went to his girlfriend and was like, "I don't know what to do about my daughter."
And she was like, "Why? What's the matter."
"I'm worried. It's the boy she likes. He's really. . . pink."
"Wait. . . I'm 'pink'. Just what are you trying to say?"

And I believe the conversation ended there. His girlfriend and I were good friends while she dated my dad. She came to me after he said that and told me about it, and we had a good laugh.

Needless to say she didn't stay with my dad, haha.

Oh passover stories. I'm hardcore jewish, so I have tons of them.

at passover, in the begining the ceremony leader hides a piece of matzah (say about 3x5" big) in a napkin and hides it in the house somewhere. After dinner, the children are supposed to go find it. However, this is mostly an older crowd I ran with as a kid, so there was me, my brother, and my two cousins (one older, one younger). It took me about 5 years to stop trying to find it, because I never could. My older cousin always would find it. It took me three years after that to figure out why. Halfway through the service he'd go to the bathroom, find it, and then rehide it. Then of course he knew where it was after dinner.

Two years ago I did my own seder for my group of non-jewish and jewish friends. I did a half-decent job of hiding the matzah. Now, part of the reason kids go find it is because you can't continue the service without it, and generally the leader pays the finder a dollar to get it back. Now, that doesn't work with smart college kids. And I realized this about halfway through them searching. Fortunately, a non-jew found it. I quickly offered $5 for it, and he of course accepted, and not 10 seconds later did a jew tell him that he could have bargained me up because we needed it for the service. Needless to say, we don't hide the matzah anymore, as I'm a broke college student.

omfg that's hilarious... and hideous...

no, my in-laws are definitely not hard core

Not to sound racist... but I think only Jews could have a bargain in the middle of the ceremony as tradition xD

Then again we latino call eachother Cholito (Little Cholo), Negrito (Lil Negro) and Chinito (Lil Chinese) as terms of affection soooo... maybe we are a bit racist.

*to the tune, but exactly 3/16ths off key* "Everyone's a little bit racist, its true..."

you forgot blankito (little whitey)!!! been my nickname among friends for years... ugh

Its always weird when people are racist of their own race. Im taking Ethnic Racism in college right now and its super interesting.

I'm quarter/almost half Hawaiian, but my moms blood burning powerful Welsh genes muddled me all up, so, while I have an excellent ability to tan and Hawaiian bone structure, I have reaaally pale green eyes and brown hair that bleaches out in the summer (Hawaiian hair doesnt bleach blonde).

Anyway. I went to Hawaiian immersion camp for an entire summer when I was younger, and I was just totally and completely shunned for my green eyes.

They started calling me Maka (eyes) or Maka'ala for (bright eyes). Its like the most hideous grevious insult ever! And here I am, as tan as them, and the same shape they are, and with the same nose and cheekbones, and IM the outcast, rofl.

I ended up getting Maka'ala tattooed on me when I went back for the reunion as sort of a fuck you to them. *grin*

Nothing wrong with being part Welsh, Sang.

~FC.

wow... racism against whites... hadn't seeing that one since PakKuei (White devil) in china

Oh no, I love my Welsh Lines, Im a Parry on Mommy's side, which is apparently like being a Smith, there's a gillion of us.