Sometimes I hate my job....

So... I own a tack and feed store for horses, and, like all animals, they have a following of crazies. Me being one of them, however, I am not one of the uneducated crazies that make shit up...

This is a synopsis of an ACTUAL conversation with a woman who can apparently function normally in society.

L: Hi, I need a bag of Feed X

Me: Sure! I'd be happy to put that on the delivery cart for you, I'm not able to carry it to your car for you. (My foot is in a cast at the moment).

L: Why? Why cant I have good service.

Me: I really apologize, but, my foot is in a cast, I snapped my ankle and its healing.

L: So why can't you carry it? My car is right there.

Me: (I attempt to explain).

L: Oh.. I broke my ankle once too, its terribly painful, are you sure you cant lift it? Im soooo tired from my work out.

Me: Ah.. No, I'm quite sure, can I get you any electrolytes they're on special with the weight gain supplements this week. (Electrolytes are like powdered gatorade for horses, salt, micronutrients etc, for hot weather, weight gain is special crap that costs too much.)

L: No no.. I just give my horse Jello.

Me: Im sorry, what?

L: Oh yes, jello is the exact same thing as electrolytes, they just want to charge you more. You see, you can give them a pack of jello a day for the same effects.

Me: Ah... of course.. Well. Ma'am, actually... (I stopped because I realized this would go no where trying to explain to this lunatic.)

L: And as for Weight Gain, I just feed my horses old bread. You know, from the bakery when its old and they throw it out. It puts weight on them like nothing else.

Me: Bread... Right, well ma'am horses have incredibly delicate digestive tracts and bread has been linked to bloat and a variety of other diseases.

L: Well my horses are fine, so they must be lying. Let me go open the car so you can carry out the feed.

Me: Of course. Right, my mistake. Oh, ma'am I'm really not allow- (at this point she dissappears out the door)


So I carried her fucking feed to the car for her, cast and all...

Tip? A cigarette, lovely.

...Did she go to the crazy house after that? Or at least get charged for Animal neglect or something?

God I wish I could talk about the people I deal with, but I would get fired immediately if anybody found out I was breaking confidentiality.

*headdesk* If only it were that easy.

Its about as much fun as the other lady who just came in.

Lady: Erica, this feed gave my horse hives.

Me: OMG! I'm so sorry, do you have the bag? Bring it in.

Lady: *brings in bag with about 3 crumbles of feed left in the bottom.

Me: Uhhhhh. So did it give her hives on the first scoop or the 50th? This bag is empty.

Lady: I want my money back it gave her hives.

Me: No it didnt, it would have shown up the first time you fed it to her.

Lady: I fed her the whole bag today, (is obviously lying). (The store is located AT the stable, I can see her horse from the back door).

Me: No you didnt or she would be sitting dead in her stall.

Lady: Fine. I'm never shopping here again, you are a spoiled little brat Erica.

Me: I'm sorry you feel that way, good luck with the hives...

Naturally nobody ever spares any thought to the idea that you know what you're talking about. Just because you work there doesn't mean you actually know anything. You're just the employee, obviously you're an idiot.
I sympathize. I face the same thing in my job much of the time.

There is a whole website for this type of stuff. www.notalwaysright.com

and this one:

fmylife.com

I feel your pain. I often hate my job too. I get paid well, but boy do they heap on the abuse.

There is nothing worse than being berated by stupid people and having to take it . . . with a smile.

Ah, and to finish off the day.

I am closing the register about 3 minutes ago, and somone starts banging frantically on the closed door. When the stable manager isnt here Im the only person who can get to all the horse records in case one is sick.

I open the door.

Hi what's up.

Lady: WHY IS THIS DOOR CLOSED.

Me: We close at 6:30, I'm shutting everything down right now.

Lady: IF YOU ARE HERE THE DOOR SHOULD BE OPEN WHAT IF I NEED SOMETHING, I NEED STUFF RIGHT NOW AND YOU HAVE THE NERVE TO SHUT THE DOOR IN OUR FACES SO WE CANT GET THE THINGS WE NEED IN AN EMERGENCY.

Me: What if I would like to go home for the night? What can I get you, I closed the register but I can make you change from the deposit envelope, I mean, if its that important... What do you need.

(She brushes past me into the dark store... She goes to the fridge... and pulls out a water bottle).

Me: A water? There's a drinking fountain out back.

Lady: *ignores* CAN YOU MAKE CHANGE FOR A HUNDRED?

Me: No.. Just take it. Have a good night. *shuts door*

Why do I want to become a doctor again?

Oh, for Pete's sake. What a fucking moron.

Sdog, you want to be a doctor in the hopes that you will be allowed to talk to patients the way House talks to patients. Which is a vain hope. But it would be a nice world to live in.

honestly hearing about those situations makes me never want to work with people

I hope your ankle gets better though and that the crazies stop showing up

The crazies are regulars. I am AT the barn so we have about 75 people who I know personally and feel that I am their personal punching bag. The stories are endless, that was just today, and it was pretty slow, but thank you Kelreth!

Sdog? You want to be a doctor to prescribe me anti-rage pills.

You sell them the things they need for their horses to survive and give advice and they use you like a punching bag.....its so hard to believe in humanity most days

My patients will hopefully be in the 0-18 years old range. If i talked to them like house does, i'd be the poorest doctor in the states.

shouldabeenadog wrote:My patients will hopefully be in the 0-18 years old range. If i talked to them like house does, i'd be the poorest doctor in the states.

only because most people need to be babied along every day. I honestly wouldn't mind if some people were more straight forward like house, at least then I don't feel like im being sweet talked.

Sang, just open up later and close earlier.

Job satisfaction guaranteed then, hun

~FC.

Yes perfect! My new motto.

Open up never and close forever!

Perfect!

Fox45 wrote:There is a whole website for this type of stuff. www.notalwaysright.com

There's also customers suck

If that shit happens every day then I think we should make this a sticky cause those stories are just to funny. Sorry you have to deal with that stuff, but at least you've got us to complain to. I gotta tell one of my gf's favorite work stories.

She was working at Subway and a customer asked for the herb bread or something cause "she wanted to try it." So my girlfriend makes her sub, the lady takes it to her table and takes a bite. Meanwhile my girlfriend goes about cleaning behind the counter, but she could overhear the conversation being held between the woman with the sub and the person she was with.

"Ugh," she said "This bread is awful, what am I going to do."

So my girlfriend, out of the corner of her eye, watches the woman remove a strand of her own hair and lay it across the sub. She takes the sub back to the counter. "Excuse me, this sub has a hair on it. Can you make me another one?"

My girlfriend was sweet as can be and made the lady a new sub WITH DIFFERENT bread. Ridiculous.

Oh man...

Like this early morning one.

Lady: Hey Erica? I know were not supposed to but I took some shavings (horse bedding 12.5 cubic feet each) from the pile.

Me: Oh.. well yeah lets not do that again, how many did you take?

L: Oh, 5 but I have a problem.

Me: Yes?

L: I didnt realize that they werent the ones I wanted, until after I opened them in the stall.

Me: All of them?

L: Yeah, I didnt notice, so, I'm not going to pay for them.

Me: Yes you are.

L: No I'm not its not what I asked for, and I dont want them, you can take them out.

Me: No I cant, I am not removing 60 cubic feet of woodshavings one cart load at a time, that's ridiculous, furthermore, you shouldnt have taken them in the first place.

L: Sorry. Not paying. *walks away*

Here's how you should finish that conversation:

Sang: Excuse me, I have a suggestion that may aid you.

L: Yes?

Sang: You could take all those woodshavings; you know, the one's you incorrectly took.

L: Hmmm..

Sang: And shove them up your ass! All 60 cubic feet, right up there. That way, you could actually taste the shit you're spouting. Good day.

~FC.

*SNORT!*

I love good customer service, me.

~FC.

The best response to "Sorry, not paying":

Charge the credit card on file anyway. Write a receipt and mail it to the new owner of 60 cubic feet of wood shavings.

If/When Obnoxious Customer complains: Suggest that the only alternative is to file a police report for the stolen property.

After all, the customer went somewhere they weren't supposed to go, picked up something without the assistance of the staff, used it, and then didn't properly follow your return policy to get the refund. If they keep it anyway (because you imply that trucking the stuff out of the stall yourself is NOT in your job description) then it's theft. Plain and simple.

They usually pay up, but be careful, they may do an end run and try to file a dispute with the credit card company. A police report will stop the credit card company, too.

Dont get me started on the credit card fraud.

I had a lady buy $655.32 in product one day.

Three months later, Credit Card Fraud, the lady was calling foul on everything on her card. The CC company said the signature didnt match even though I had checked her ID. She had signed shitty and I lost all that cash.

Thats life in retail.

Yeah, that's when you put that sign up that says "We reserve the right to refuse service to anyone."

Most people will never realize that the statement actualy ends with "... that pisses us off, steals from us, smells like a goat (but doesn't own any), sexually harasses the staff (no, we don't like skanky gheezers of any gender drooling over us), or otherwise gets on our bad side the minute they walk in the door."

You want skanky geezers, you should take a look at my 'clientele'

*shudder*

~FC.

This reminds me of when I worked at El Toro Tack and Feed before I bought my store.

We had two guys who came in once a week, at the exact same time, paid in cash and only bought one thing. A 50# bag of powdered MSM. (white powder).

We were all shocked when the FBI showed up to investigate these guys. Apparently they were cutting 'blow' with the MSM (cheap joint supplement and natural anti-inflammatory) because it looks exactly the same. Soon as they caught wind of it when they came in on thier normal day we had FBI on surveillance, and they didnt buy anything. Grrrr.

Now? I think something of the same nature people come to my store and buy 5# buckets, much less suspicious than the 50# bags.

And speaking of "I hate my job;" tomorrow is "contract day." We find out tomorrow if anyone is getting laid off because our endowments are in the tank.

I am a new teacher and have only been there two years. I will be the first to go if there are cuts.