Interview With A Vampire

by Guest Sat Mar 21, 2009 11:59 am

My exclusive interview with Gill Cedillo
~Jeff Brodovsky, Political Correspondent, Sacramento Bee

Its that time of year again, and Gill Cedillo has just announced his 10th attempt at trying to get licenses for undocumented immigrants.

What motivates you to keep going after all of these failed attempts Mr. Cedillo?

Well, first, thank you for agreeing to interview me. Licenses for undocumented immigrants is something I feel very pationately about. I want to keep the streets of our state safe, by allowing these drivers to get licensed and thus take classes to make them better drivers.

You keep seeing in the papers these days stories about illegal immigrants being the at-fault in fatal accidents. Will this really fix these things?

First off, they are not illegal. They are people just like you and me. They don't have documentation. That's why we call them undocumented immigrants. Second, yes I do think that this will help keep the streets safe. If they have licenses, they have to have insurance to pay for these sorts of damages.

So why do they call you the Vampire of the Democratic Party?

*Cedillo smiles*. Some more wasabi please he says to the waiter before continuing They call my bill the vampire bill. No matter what they do, no matter how much they think its dead, it just keeps coming back. And you know republicans and their big demonization tactics. This is just a ploy to try to discourage me. It hasn't worked for 5 years, and it won't now.

At this point, Cedillo was informed that the restaurant had had all of their wasabi stolen in the morning, and that the owner was very sorry.

See. If we had allowed undocumented immigrants to drive delivery trucks, this place would still have wasabi tonight. Instead they have to wait until tomorrow, and the manager now has to compensate all these customers. My bill would fix that.

(interview continues about his personal life)